Thursday, January 31, 2013

Johnny Levelhead

Johnny Levelhead
Tonight at eight, get ready for action at its most refined with Johnny Levelhead. He's a new breed of tough guy, the kind that knows how to turn violence into a calm solution.

(An alleyway. A thug with a gun holds up our well dressed hero.)

Thug: Gimme all your money!

Levelhead: Are you sure that's the best solution to your problem?

Thug: Come on! Hand it over!

Levelhead: I think you're making a bad decision here. You're about to commit a felony. If money's all you need, have you ever considered an insurance policy?

Thug: You some kinda fancy lawyer or somethin? Okay, talk, fancy pants!

Levelhead: I can fix you up with a policy if you like. Got it right here in the briefcase. (He takes out some papers and a pen, and gets the thug to sign.) And your financial problems are over.

Thug: (beaming) Nice!

Levelhead: As soon as you shoot yourself in the head.

Thug: Wha-? Where does it say that?

Levelhead: Right here. See? It's a life insurance policy.

Thug: (pointing the gun) Then I guess I should just shoot you and take your money.

Levelhead: Oh no. If you do that, your mother's life is forfeit.

Thug: You can execute my mother?

Levelhead: You should really be careful what you sign.

(The thug looks the paper over, breathing heavily. With a defeated expression, he points the gun at his head and pulls the trigger.)

Don't miss Johnny Levelhead. Tonight at eight.
  
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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