Thursday, January 17, 2013

Professional Wisecracker

Professional Wisecracker
Announcer: Tonight: He started out wanting to be a professional safe cracker, but he was flunking his apprenticeship. So they put him to work doing what he does best - wisecracking.

(An unopened wall safe. A safe cracker uses a stethoscope to hear the tumblers as he spins the dial.)

Wisecracker: Doctor, I think the patient is suffering from an iron deficiency.

Safe Cracker: Very funny. But you can't watch me and the door at the same time.

Wisecracker: I thought you said this would be a safe occupation.

Safe Cracker: (Waving a wrench from his toolbox) I'm warning you, you better point that wit elsewhere or I'll crack you good!

(A knock on the door. 'Open up! Police!')

Wisecracker: Okay. I hear something. (The door is busted down and a policeman enters with his weapon drawn.) Shoot! I mean, don't shoot!

(The officer breaks down laughing, allowing his suspects to escape.)

Announcer: Watch Professional Wisecracker. Tonight.
  
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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